Ephesians 5:22–33 - 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
What does today’s passage say?
In today's passage, Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands' leadership (vv. 22-24), just as the church submits to Christ. Husbands must unselfishly love their wives (vv. 25-30), like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Paul explains that in Genesis God established marriage so that husband and wife become one flesh (v. 31). This union between man and wife is profound, representing Christ's relationship with the church (vv. 32-33).
How can I apply Ephesians 5:22-33 to my life?
Paul dives deep into the nitty-gritty of how a godly marriage ought to function. He's quite specific in mapping out the distinct roles of husband and wife. Clearly, the biblical model stands in stark contrast to what popular culture dictates today. Feminism shouts loudly for equal roles while patriarchy and chauvinism still rear their ugly heads. Navigating these murky waters can prove confusing and divorcing for married couples who lack anchored biblical moorings. In turning to this hotly debated passage, may we lay down ideological presuppositions and embrace God's stunning vision for harmonious, Gospel-displaying unions. Let Christ-like humility and sacrificial love characterize our approach on both sides - not rigid demands or selfishness. By obeying these timeless principles, incredible blessings await our marriages. Here are some basic principles from this passage that we should apply to our lives:
1. Wives, Submit to Your Husband, as to the Lord, with Respect (vv. 22-24): This instruction, especially in the context of society today, is a tough one. Even though it is contrary to the expectations of our modern society, Paul makes clear that wives are called to submit to their husbands out of reverence for Christ. This does not mean that wives forfeit their value or equality. Rather, it establishes a divine order in marriage that mirrors Christ's headship over the church. Practically, this submission affects everything from making major decisions to resolving conflicts. It calls wives to honor their husbands in deed and attitude. This flies in the face of modern sensibilities, yet the mandate stands. When done God's way, following this difficult command draws married couples closer to each other and the Lord. It fosters harmony rather than hierarchy in the union. Submitting requires humility, patience, and communication from both spouses. It should not be forced or demanded. As with any biblical truth, the application comes by yielding to the Spirit and faith that obedience brings blessing. Wives have a unique role as helpmates to their husbands, supporting and assisting them to become the men God intends. A wife's submission enables her husband to lead with confidence and integrity. Together they complement each other perfectly (1 Peter 3:1-6, Titus 2:3-5, Colossians 3:18).
Food for Thought: What areas of submission to your husband are most challenging for you currently? Why? What would it look like in practical terms if you were fully submitted to your husband “as to the Lord” this week?
2. Husbands, Love Your Wife Sacrificially, just as Christ Loved the Church (vv. 25-30): Husbands must fully grasp the gravity of what Scripture calls them to. This is no mere suggestion, but a divine command to love one's wife with the very same quality and caliber of love that Jesus lavished upon His church. Such vast, unconditional love confounds human logic. Yet embracing this standard revolutionizes marriage, taking it from mundane to holy. On a practical level, applying this means purposefully laying down selfishness and pride daily to put her needs first. It means listening more than speaking, honoring more than demanding, serving more than being served and, when conflict inevitably comes, being quick to forgive and pursue reconciliation. Protect her dignity; build her up. Esteem her as your equal spiritually despite differing roles. Make her sanctification and wholeness in Christ your aim. Pour your life out to see her become the woman God designed. In short, die to self and live for her as Jesus did for us. This is truly possible by the Spirit's power (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7).
Food for thought: What specific actions can you take this week to love your wife more sacrificially? What expectations or demands of your wife do you need to release so that your love mirrors Christ's love?
3. Understand That Your Marriage is a Picture of the Relationship Between Christ and the Church (vv. 31-33): Grasp the enormity of the sacred mystery that God designed the marriage union to represent. Namely, that the profound, intimate oneness between husband and wife is meant to put Christ's relationship to His Bride - the Church - on vivid display. Just as spouses pledge their lives to one another, so Jesus has pledged and given His life for His people. As husbands cherish and nourish their wives, Christ nurtures and purifies His Church. As wives honor their husbands, the Church honors Christ as Head - our Triune God woven into the very fabric of marriage! Therefore, strengthening your own marriage union deepens your understanding of the Gospel. If disunity or dysfunction pervade your relationship, what message does this send about Christ and His Bride? Let this truth motivate spouses to extend immense grace to one another. Model what it means for two very different people to operate as one flesh. This reveals God's love and wisdom to the watching world (Romans 12:4-5, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:7-9).
Food for Thought: What one step could you take to allow your marriage to better represent Jesus and the Church? How might viewing your marriage as a Gospel picture change your expectations of your spouse?
God's design for marriage stands the test of time, even when it rubs against the grain of popular opinion. As Christ-followers, we must anchor our perspectives to the unchanging truth of Scripture, not shifting cultural tides. When applied with Spirit-led grace and humility, these biblical principles foster satisfaction and purity in marriage. Wives who submit to their husbands out of reverence for the Lord will be blessed with harmony and help. Husbands who tenderly and sacrificially love their wives as Christ loved the church discover richer intimacy and unity with their brides. And the profound mystery - that marriage reflects Gospel truths - ushers awe-filled worship into the peaks and valleys of our marriages. May we have ears to truly hear Paul's instructions here and, by the Spirit’s power, implement them for the glory of God and the thriving of our marriages.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray that You would give me a deeper grasp of what sacrificial, Christ-modeled love inside marriage looks like - both as a husband loving and serving his wife, and as the church reverencing and following Christ. Expose any selfish demands I place on my spouse and grant me humility and grace to release those to You. Produce in me a fierce, selfless love for my bride as I daily lay down my interests to elevate her needs. Help me cherish the beautiful mystery that You designed our marriage to be a display of powerful Gospel truths. I pray that You would help both me and my wife to strengthen our covenant bond and deepen our relationship for Your glory.
I pray these things in the most precious name of Jesus, Amen.
Ephesians 5:31-32 – “ 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
With His Blessings,
Pastor Corby
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